


I Don't Know How To Be Without You

by sirentales



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 07:48:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13119297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirentales/pseuds/sirentales
Summary: In reward for Noctis fulfilling his prophecy and returning Dawn, he is granted one wish in his afterlife; to have his love brought to him when all is said and done.





	I Don't Know How To Be Without You

**Author's Note:**

> For Jenna (mr-smith-i-need-you). Merry Christmas! I didn’t realized we were releasing these so early, so I apologize for it being late! I know you wanted something canon, fix it, and of course IgNoct. As a bonus, luckily, Episode Ignis played out rather close, making it more canon! Hope you enjoy, love(:
> 
> Bonus thank you to [Amy](http://ierotrick.tumblr.com) for looking this over and helping me! It really meant a lot to me.

“ _Ignis!_ ”

After a year and a half filled with nothing but emptiness, Ignis had forgotten what it was like to feel anything.

The breeze was lifeless, the stars were dull, the sun had no heat against his skin..

Living in the dark had been one thing he had learned to live with. He adapted as he should have, but feeling empty had been something entirely new. The ten years of waiting he did until Noctis came back had been different. Back then, he knew the king would come home, that he would bring peace to all of Eos, but after his death..

Moving on from that had been hard. The hardest thing the once-Chamberlain had to do and he was still struggling with it. Everyday he woke up and sensed the light that signalled that it was another day without His Majesty. Everyday he had to listen to Prompto and Gladiolus talk about how civilization was growing again and cities were being rebuilt terrifically. The daemons were gone, the light was restored, people were safe and yet Ignis had an empty chest where warmth and hope use to be.

Where his purpose use to be.

Without a purpose, he wandered aimlessly trying to find it.

He had taken in Talcott when he had been younger, but he was an adult now that felt the need to take care of him. The gesture was honorable, but unnecessary. Ignis was a capable man.

Prompto and Gladiolus didn’t need him, and in the shield’s defense, he never had, but Prompto.. He had needed to be checked in every once and awhile before. Someone needed to make sure the boy had still been eating and taking care of himself. However, he, too, had grown to become his own man and built himself up into something almost indestructible. Hearing his and Gladiolus’ practice sessions were definitely interesting now.

Maybe that was why he had agreed - or more likely demanded - that he went with a few other hunters to sort out some situation. Something about a behemoth having free reign over a pasture up north. A strange place for it to choose to live, but the other hunters had suspected that it had followed a griffon there.

Except, they hadn’t gotten there.

It happened so fast. The spiracorn rushing out into the road, the hunter’s sharp turning to try and avoid the herd, the car flipping and tumbling into the rocks by the road. He hadn’t seen it, but his hearing was sharper now and he heard every last detail. The glass in the windows shattering with the crunching of the metal as the car hit the asphalt. Only after the car had stilled and movement had started again did he last hear,

“ _Ignis, you’re going to be alright. Stay with us.._ ”

\---

Last time Ignis had been in this room, he had been standing next to his dead king as the sun slowly started to rise. He had his moment of grief before picking him up and they had brought their well-loved friend to lay to rest with his father. Prompto had kept himself strong for their small ceremony, but once Noctis had been placed in his crypt to finally find his peace, none of them had fared well.

Now, he’s standing in that same throne room. The one he had first met Noctis in. The one that held the ceremony for them all being officially the prince’s crownguard. The one they had all said goodbye to King Regis to before starting for their first and last adventure together..

It’s disorienting being here, alone, with no echoes of chatter or footsteps. Never has he been so aware of the sound of his own breathing as he turns his head around to make sure no one is secretly watching him from the shadows. There is indeed no one there and for some reason that doesn’t exactly comfort him. His green eyes scan the room for any clue as to how he got here, but that is when it hits him.

He is _seeing_.

His eyes are taking in the black marble stairs and the dusted off railing that line them. The polished silver on the outsides of the railings are just as pristine as he they had been that last fateful day. The gold trimming that lines and decorates the throne and wall behind it. The windows allow in the beautiful sunlight and there is a breeze he can feel. He had almost forgotten what it looked like, what it felt and smelt like. Fresh air surrounds him and his fingers tingle with anticipation.

Slowly, he brings himself to start walking around the empty space. First, to stand where he did on their departure the first time. The throne looks so much bigger now that their king is no longer sitting on it. For centuries it has carried through all their impeccable kings, but now sits bare along the emptiness of their home. However, upon closer look, as Ignis’ feet take each step at a time to ascend the left staircase, the cushion of where each king has sat doesn’t look worn.

The plush red is as new as ever and the threading doesn't have a single stitch out of place. The armrests are cleaned off and polished like the railings were. In fact, if Ignis didn’t know any better, he would say this entire room has been taken care of like it was when there were staff here. How could that be possible? How was Ignis even here in the first place?

Shaking his head, he turns his side to the throne to look out the window. Light covers everything as far as his eye can see, and the buildings down below are back to their rightful places. Nothing appears to be damaged and there are no daemons roaming around like there had been the night they lost their king. Confusion fills Ignis’ head, which is not a mental state he is well acquainted with, but it isn’t until he hears that oh-so familiar voice that his head is whipping around again.

“You weren’t suppose to be here so soon, Iggy,” it says. That voice.. The one of their last king, _his_ king.. It has everything inside him churning. Never again did he think he would hear it, no matter how many times he prayed to the Gods asking for it just one last time, but it simply can’t be true.

Noctis is _dead_.

 _Surely, I must be losing it now_ , he thinks to himself as finally there are footsteps that can be heard coming into the room. Seafoam eyes try to find the culprit pretending to be his old friend, but the face he meets is identical to the one he secretly hoped not to find.

Standing there at the bottom of the staircase, is the man they buried a year and a half ago. He stands tall, something that hadn’t set in until after his time in the crystal. His hair is as long as it was then, but now is groomed to frame his face. There’s not a scratch on him, no blood or bruises, and his smile looks genuine as he starts to ascend, but stops when Ignis takes a defensive stance.

“I won't be fooled by such delusions again,” he warns as he goes to reach for his daggers in his pocket. He flips one around his pointer finger until it settles in his hand the way he intends it to, but keeps the other in its holster for now as he watches the fake in front of him.

“This isn’t a delusion, Ignis. What are you doing here?” The fake asks again, tilting his head to the side as his hand delicately holds onto the railing. He looks just as elegant as the day they lost him, but it simply can’t be. He had carried him away into that dark and lifeless tomb.

“Why don’t you tell me? Where am I?”

“Are _you_ asking _me_ a serious question? I never thought that would happen,” the imposter chuckles and gods, whoever created this.. They did well.

“Do not play games with me, daemon,” Ignis warns again, but the clone only shakes his head and taps his fingertips against the railing.

“Daemon? C’mon, Iggy.. Not even you thought I was _that_ bad. I think the worst you ever called me was ‘ _Your Highness_ ’ when angry. Are you that upset at me?”

“I do not see my prince here, let alone my king.”

“Ahh,” he says, as though a light bulb has just gone off in his head. “The king is dead, don’t you remember? There is no king anymore, Ignis, and there shouldn’t ever be again. Insomnia belongs to its people now that it is safe.”

“Don’t-”

“Don’t what? Tell you the truth? You always told me that a king needed to be honest. That he did not shutter and cower behind lies because that would only lose respect and loyalty.”

“It looks like him, it walks like him, but it does not sound like him,” the former chamberlain mutters under his breath as he raises an eyebrow. This must be a decent illusion. How deep is he under this spell? What has gotten ahold of him?

“Things.. Changed while I was in the crystal. I know we didn’t get to share that much when we were reunited, but-”

“Stop speaking as though you are him. I am not so far gone that I do not realize a trick when I see one,” Ignis snaps quietly, losing his patience. Losing Noctis had been hard, had nearly killed him, and now he is facing those eyes he hasn’t seen in so long. If he had been worse than he already is, if he had been more desperate, he would be giving. He would die happily in this nightmare if it meant having one more moment with Noctis, but he isn’t that desperate yet.

He still has some of his sanity.

“If you think this is a trick, then you won’t take offense to this,” the fake says before his face is darkening and he is stepping closer. He appears angry, more than Ignis has ever seen that face be before. He wastes no time to raise his hand to point his finger at Ignis before he just..

 _Pokes_ him.

Right in the chest.

Just over his heart.

“Prompto told me that you liked me. Before the crystal, before we started the trip, before I even moved into my apartment. He told me that you were hopelessly invested in me, but this? Being so willing to die to come see me? Being so reckless? That is too much. That is _not_ the Ignis I know and remember. That is not the Ignis I have been waiting for,” he hisses as his eyebrows furrow. Surprise surges through Ignis’ body, but for more than the obvious reason.

His secret is out. Apparently has been for awhile. His love for his prince, for his _king_ , that has always been more than his professional devotion, is out. All because of some boy that he had underestimated at first. Oh, how wrong he had been about the blond and his attention habits, but that doesn’t prove anything here. This could all be his head trying to give him what he wants.

And gods above, does he want this; Noctis.

“That Ignis no longer exists. Losing you..”

“It had to happen, Iggy. You knew that, didn't you? You knew it had to be coming and-”

“ _But I didn’t want it_ ,” Ignis hisses and that appears to startle the clone in front of him. Those blue eyes gather up so much concern and holds it as they flicker over Ignis’ face. “I failed you, Noct.. I was suppose to prepared you for anything, be your guidance when you were lost, and I asked you to reconsider after I found out. I would have begged. Letting you walk to your death, I was.. It was not supposed to be like that. You were suppose to be there when dawn broke again. You were suppose to lead us home and even if dawn never came, I was willing to sacrifice everyone else’s lively hood if it meant you could stay here, with me, _alive_.”

A blanket of silence covers them again and Ignis can’t even bothered to push on with the thought that this is all fake anymore. Everything is raw and he feels like he is being suspended with the intention of being dropped at any second. Time is frozen in this moment as the tightness in his throat constricts even further with every nervous swallow he takes.

“Once I realized what was to become of you, it was too late, Noct. I didn’t know how to save you. I didn’t know how to bring you home again and then when I brought of the idea of seizing our journey-”

“ _Stop it_ ,” the man breathes in front of him.

“-you didn’t want that and how was I.. How was I to tell you no?”

The tension is so thick that Ignis wishes it would just swallow him up. Maybe he has really died and maybe this is his final resting place, but it doesn’t feel completely his until-

“I love you, Noct. I have loved you since we were children. I would have done anything to keep that from happening to you..” He gives. If this is really his end, he wants it out this time. He needs to say the words openly, for himself, if he wants to keep whatever sanity is left in his head.

The look in Noctis’ eyes goes from distraught to fond with a smooth transition. Smooth enough that Ignis doesn’t worry nor flinch when the man’s hand comes up to cup his jaw. A thumb brushes along his cheek as Noctis steps closer and nods his head in some silent agreement.

“I know, Iggy.. I know now. I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner, but now we can be together. We can make up for lost time. If you still want me.”

And for the first time in Ignis’ life, he becomes selfish. He becomes _impulsive_ as he leans forward to press their lips together finally.


End file.
